![]() Ok, anyways, Charlie has this fucking idea where he’s like “I’m gonna go to the old frat house and get drunk by myself in a chair.” By the way, Charlie is totally an alcoholic, which probably just isn’t something to joke about. Also, frat is a commonly used term, some words have abbreviations, some don’t. Yeah, you’re right Charlie, you wouldn’t call a country a “cunt”, you know why? Cunt is a derogatory swear word. You wouldn’t call your country a cunt would you?” Jesus christ. Charlie responds to this kid and says “It’s not a frat, it’s a fraternity. Then comes possibly the cringiest line of the entire movie, and maybe of any movie ever. All of the sudden, some kid who is dressed like a terrible halloween costume of a “nerd” comes up to Charlie and says “I’d love to be in a frat”. He watches some rival frat, I don’t even remember their name, we’ll call them Kappa(?), try and recruit some new members. He should at least maybe, I don’t know, go to court? No? His only punishment is getting his frat charter revoked? Amazing justice.įlash-forward to 3 years later, Charlie, looking the exact fucking same, is now an RA, and acts like it’s the worst thing anyone can be. Charlie has just committed a ton of crimes. The house is now on fire, shit is burning everywhere, and people are running. They finally make it to the stage, and what do you think happens? The fireworks completely fuck everything up. They stare at these boobs for like 10 minutes and the guy on stage grows more and more impatient. Charlie makes his way to the stage but then 2 naked girls distract him and his 2 friends, and they literally act like they have never seen boobs before. There’s an older frat guy on the stage who is calling Charlie up to the stage because I guess Charlie is gonna set off some fireworks. His friends laugh and act like nothing illegal just happened. ![]() First sexual assault of the movie? Check. The three amigos make their way to the backyard, but not before Billy, after being rejected by a girl who looks like she is straight out of a Maxim Cover, just fucking pours beer on shirt, exposing her breasts. Our main man Charlie and “Douche” have another friend named Billy, who is literally the worst person I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life, fictional or non-fictional. Who decided to make these songs? Could they literally not afford to put one REAL song on their movie? Not even that shitty Sammy Adams “All Night Longer” song that all frat guys love? Ok, back to the party scene. They literally have choruses that go like “We’re gonna drink all night, cause that’s what frat stars do” These songs made me so fucking angry. This movie must’ve not had a budget for using real music, because they use these songs that are like royalty free frat party music. What really makes me mad about the party scenes is the fucking music they play. There’s a fucking concert at this party and it’s apparently got 700 people at it. Once they get past the hazing scene, there’s this party scene where they’re all accepting their bids and shit. This pledge is named “douche”, that’s just his name for the rest of the movie. They’re like “Come on guys, brothers for life, we got you” and they make some sort of weird sacrifice for another pledge who is struggling to stay in the water. They keep saying that “brother” shit that really annoys me. They’re sitting in buckets of ice cold water while the other frat guys are screaming at them and calling them pussies. But pales in comparison to the rest of the movie. He literally looks 10 years older than the guys hazing him. There’s no fucking way this guy looks like he’s in college at all, and the first scene they show him in? He’s a freshman getting hazed. Ok, the main dude with the monologue, his name is Charlie. ![]() Also, “Mason Dixon University” ? Cool, lets just make the school ambiguously somewhere in the south and definitely a little racist. There’s this shitty monologue that starts playing where some dude is like “Ever since I was a kid, I had dreamed about being a frat star at Mason Dixon University.” Where the fuck do I start for this line? When this guy was 8 years old, he dreamed of binge drinking and fucking every girl that comes his way? No, he fucking didn’t. Granted, I was never involved in Greek life and I have only been to a handful of frat parties, but there’s absolutely no way this goes on at every party. This just flat out doesn’t fucking happen. Ok, first off, this movie starts right out with a college party scene, that somehow has about 40(ish) extremely hot and just completely naked girls just dancing around and making out with any guy possible. ![]()
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